C-0-R-E

 During this week, I will be deleting particular submissions and journals I have made, or moving them to scraps, sta.sh, whatever.
Just a heads up to anyone who has an inexplicable liking towards whatever odd things that are in my gallery and notice that they have gone missing.

*this will probably get deleted, too.

I wanted to thank you for stalking watching me.
I know I do not post art often, and that I mainly piddle around yapping on the forums randomly and making silly, sometimes crude, GIFs for forum responses. When I feel like I have amassed enough art worth showing off, I will post it in my journal as a collection, so that way you won't have to bother dealing with another goofy pile of GIFs.

Also, thanks for putting up with my voting polls which were mostly asking which background was best suited for my page. The last poll either signified that I came across something better than the old one I wanted to avoid, or just showed that people were getting tired of me asking. Either way, I took the near-tie poll to make a combination of the two backgrounds, hence my current theme for my page.

Anyway, just wanted to thank all of you for watching such an unproductive artist like me.
I appreciate it a lot.

I deactivated not too long ago for multiple reasons. Some petty, some amusing, some understandable, mostly whining.

Reason 1: Curiosity

Deviant Art is the first site I have been to that had a deactivation feature. Honestly, I think it is a silly feature, but I was still curious to try it out anyway since reactivation is also possible after a couple days. If someone does not want to be on a site, then they can just leave, problem solved. Otherwise, it just draws a lot of attention and leaves people wondering "Why?".
I can see deactivation being good for someone who wanted to purge their art from a site, but if that was the only real useful purpose then maybe it would be better if there was a "Purge art" function instead. Aside from that, all I see the deactivation function as is a loud "I quit!" or a more drastic way of forcing oneself to stay away from the other users of DA.

Reason 2: Behavior

For the past few months, my friendliness towards people in the forums has waned, making me less tolerant of certain things that would be said to me and getting into arguments. With my pride, I tend to be under the mindset of "I may not be right, but I sure as Hell am not wrong." Why I feel unfriendly towards people, I do not know for certain, except that there are certain factors that play into it as well. One of the factors would be some body issues, while the other factors are their own reasons altogether.
As for my body, it is not like I am in unbearable pain, or even near that, not exactly anyway. Hurt my lower back from lifting a cinder block, and two-three years later, still hurting. Just what I get for lifting it wrong. Another issue is with my rib-cage/sternum: For whatever reason, I need only to press on it, and I feel the bones pop into place. Why this started happening, I do not know. Maybe bad posture from when I lost my desk and room to relatives that stayed at home with us and I had to resort to sitting in a bad position elsewhere. Honestly, I don't see how likely this is to be the case. While I feel stiff and even sore in the rib-cage area, a good stretch fixes it.
What bothers me is not the actual health issue, but rather, the costs to fix whatever this is. I went to the doctor not long ago for pained breathing (was just a minor one-day lung infection), and after getting my weight, temperature and breathing checked, I got slapped with a $94 doctor bill after being there for ten minutes. So, with a bill for something so simple, I would expect getting my bones fixed up would cost an outrageous amount.

Aside from that, though, I don't know if I would bother going back the forums right away or not. While I do get know some people on a site, I begin to just see people as merely numbers. Numbers I like generally turn into names, and numbers I don't like I regard with as much disdain as if they were negative numbers. Sometimes I get my perception of someone being good or bad by how they act towards other people, if I do not know the person in question beforehand.
This is, in part, why I clash with people, knowing how much of a rude jerk I have seen them be to someone else. This, in turn, results in putting me in the same position later on. As a result, I took a break to reconsider some things about myself.
End result: I need to learn to bite my tongue from now on. Be a man who bites his tongue.

Reason 3: Schooling

I am in my final semester of college, and while this is fine, a number of my classes have not had a majority of my work graded. Because of this, I can't tell if I need to do better or not, which has me very agitated. At age 21, I have grown tired of living with my parents and lacking a sense of independence, and failing a semester on subjects I am uncertain on and not knowing how badly I am doing agitates me when I consider being stuck with my parents another half year.
Another issue, aside form not knowing my grades in the classes that really count, is a group project of designing a hospital. As one of the participants, I tried aiming for having our medical center to be something simple, but the other two basically voted out my idea of designing the structure from the inside out. Instead, they chose a nice-looking design, but it takes up a giant amount of space. As a result, we had issues with trying to meaningfully fill the structure with things it would need. Presentation time is coming, and I am dreading the time when we must say why we did what.

Reason 4: Relationships with family

There's a reason why I do not want to stay at home with my parents. Right now, I am only doing it because as a full-time student, this is the best course of action financially. My stepmom, I have no real issue with. Siblings, step or not, are just the usual sort of annoyances you would expect from siblings: One won't shut up and talks about his big plans constantly, another is an air-head. But my real issue is my dad, and I could write a whole journal on him alone. Ranging from his utterly depressive behavior to his clingy actions and to his abusiveness.
I feel like saying "abusive" is too strong of a word, because I know there are people who had it worse and that I should not complain. But every time he gets involved with a decision I try to make, he screws with my head. Worst thing is, he can be right about a lot of things, but wrong about so many others.
Part of his know-it-all attitude.


Anyway, those are the most notable of reasons for deactivation. Nothing major, important or even justifiable. 

Records go here:

I've been compiling gifs. Lately, I have been posting them rather than real art (I know, bad Core!). But some gifs, I keep hidden away, since they are more of my personal thing to use. And, I don't want to post some of them.
Decided to make a journal with links since I've been trying out the multi-part gifs. Have yet to figure out how to remove the gap to make them mesh better, but I'm getting there.
Maybe.

Anyway, here are that categories that contain gifs. A couple are a bit too mature for posting, but not very NSFW.

AVATARS
I avatars out of gifs. Here, you can look at what I have used or tried to use/
sta.sh/2uyfy6tl2bn


GIFS
The usual, random one-part stuff. Anything and everything.
sta.sh/21h8f7xczi2c



MULTIPART GIFS
These are experimental, and I am new to them. These are the ones I do not plan on posting to my gallery, so you'll have to come here for them. Syncing is weird.
sta.sh/21g1xibk47h3